


Curiosity did not Kill Jaskier, but it Definitely Bit Him

by kickassfu



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Geralt saves Jaskier, Geralt the vampire slayer, Humor, Kinda?, M/M, also even though jaskier does consent to making out with the vampire, and very easy to seduce, but isn't able to, jaskier is horny, jaskier's pov, so take care reading this, when things start to get too much he does try to push her away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: Time to go, he thinks turning around and practically jogging out of there, until a sultry voice stops him before he manages to get back into the street, “Are you leaving already?”Jaskier looks back to see one of the prettiest women he’s ever seen, and now that he’s thinking, he’s not really in a hurry is he? He has all the time in the world, “Not at all.”
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 143





	Curiosity did not Kill Jaskier, but it Definitely Bit Him

**Author's Note:**

> someone on tumblr gave me an interesting little challenge, instead of a prompt they gave me 3 words, which was actually super fun to figure out, they were: bite, ribbon, dust. 
> 
> My first thought was something dirty lol my second thought was buffy the vampire slayer, when the vampires turn to dust as they die. So I went with that. Modern AU where Geralt might be a vampire slayer? IDK, hope you enjoy it!

It’s late at night, the full moon up in the sky shining his path; maybe Jaskier shouldn’t be walking home, but it’s cheaper to walk and you know, free exercise and all that. He hears a noise in the alley he’s passing by, _probably_ a cat or not, and his brain is telling him to ignore it, keep going. But damn his curious nature, he just has to know what’s there.

Gulping, Jaskier turns left into the alley, which is a lot darker than the streets and he’s already cursing himself for being an absolute idiot. 

_Fuck my life_.

Oh.

There’s a ribbon on the floor. It’s a pretty, soft pink, and maybe it belongs to the (imaginary) cat that was making all that noise. That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, and it sates Jaskier’s curiosity just fine. 

_Time to go_ , he thinks turning around and practically jogging out of there, until a sultry voice stops him before he manages to get back into the street, “Are you leaving already?” 

Jaskier looks back to see one of the prettiest women he’s ever seen, and now that he’s thinking, he’s not really in a hurry is he? He has all the time in the world, “Not at all.”

“Good. Because I want to play with you.” she says, walking closer to him, her white teeth a little sharper than Jaskier’s used to. Probably a trick of the light. He’s very excited to be played with to pay any mind to anything else.

“I’m very easy to play with...” ugh, what an awful come-on, but the woman is laughing, surprised by it, obviously enjoying it, so maybe not so bad after all.

“Come here.” grabbing him by his collar, she pushes him into the wall hard; he’s not against it, but for someone much smaller than him she’s strong. She kisses him, and it feels nice, he loses himself in it until the little small voice in his head starts being annoying, _I don’t even know her name_ , _she definitely doesn’t know mine either_ , _oh my God she’s a complete stranger how thirsty am I?_

Apparently not thirsty enough, because his voice wins over his urges and he goes to push her off, only for her to move her mouth from his lips to his neck, and-

He forgets what he was about to do, _it feels really good_ , and he’s really horny, can you blame him? But then she’s biting him, hard, and not in the kinky way he’s usually very into.

It feels like he’s bleeding.

What the fuck is happening?

“Hey there, could you maybe stop?” Jaskier begs, trying to push her off him with no results. _Is she a bloody bodybuilder?_ She doesn’t even budge, and Jaskier is definitely on the verge of panicking.

And-

And…?

And then there’s dust.

The seductive woman is gone, _poof_ , dust, and in front of Jaskier is the prettiest man he’s ever seen. Now he isn’t sure that’s a good thing, he’s a little done with pretty people, _but_ the man really is very pretty with his golden eyes and white hair, and a fucking stake in his hand? - and nope, that’s definitely suspicious.

“What in the bloody hell just happened?” Jaskier asks, before the very hot, maybe dangerous, man leaves. Touching his neck, his hand comes out bloodied, and oh no he’s going to faint-

The man catches him before he falls, and yes, those muscles are very hard and also very nice to touch. “I’m Jaskier.” he says, because he really needs to know the other’s name, and also an explanation, and perhaps his number, and-

“Hm.” the man looks pensive for a second, trying to consider his options, and eventually settles on something, “I’m Geralt. You were bitten by a vampire. I killed it.”

“Oh sure. A _vampire_. That makes perfect sense.” _What?_ Now you’re going to tell me because I was bitten, I’m going to turn into one myself and that you need to kill me.”

Geralt is staring at him, without saying anything else, just staring and staring and staring-

“Please don’t kill me! I’m young and filled with dreams.”

That, apparently, makes Geralt break into laughter - and holy fuck that’s hotter than it should be at the moment, he’s supposed to be scared for his life not attracted to his possible would-be killer.

“No. It doesn’t work like that. You’ll be fine. You just lost a little bit of blood.” Geralt murmurs, touching Jaskier’s neck softly, wiping some of the blood away. 

Yup, he’s horny. He forgot about that.

“I think you should take me home.” Jaskier says before he can stop himself, and at the amused look Geralt gives him he adds, “Because of the blood loss. _Of course_. After going through the trouble of saving me, you wouldn’t want me to fall in a ditch and die right?”

“Yes, wouldn’t want you getting into anymore trouble.”

They stare into each other’s eyes in silence for a bit; Jaskier’s isn’t sure how long exactly because they’re very nice eyes to look into, and the moon is high and bright in the night sky, and it’s super romantic-

Well, besides the whole vampires are real, and he got bitten by one and almost died, but then he happened to be saved by a really hot guy, so things balance out he supposes.

Geralt is still holding him by the arm, when he practically drags him onto the better lit street, and instantly Jaskier feels better. _Safer_.

“So, are you like a monster hunter of sorts? A vampire slayer? I need details, because I could make amazing songs out of your stories. I already have so many ideas actually. Are werewolves real too?” Jaskier is babbling, and honestly he can’t stop, he’s too excited, the adrenaline finally pumping through his remaining blood.

Geralt sighs.

And Jaskier smiles; the world far larger and scarier than he once knew. Life is certainly going to be more interesting from now on. All he needs is to get Geralt’s phone number.

For research reasons.

Definitely not because he’s hot.

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
